How to tell your boss that you have to miss work again, because your kid is sick. Again.
You’re at work, and your phone rings. You reluctantly look to see the caller ID. If you have to miss work one more time because your kid is sick, you are pretty sure you’re fired….
It’s your child’s daycare. ‘No, no, no, no, no, no!!! NO!’ you think. Please do NOT be sick again. I cannot miss another day of work. You contemplate not answering. It’s not that you don’t want to run and pick up that sweet babe and snuggle and nurse them back to health. Because every ounce of you does. But the idea that you have to miss work, AGAIN because your kid is sick, AGAIN is so fucking stressful that you are pretty sure you’ve given your coworkers anxiety.
I would work as much as I could from home, while looking after the sick kiddo. I’d ensure I wouldn’t miss any email, question or task. But in the end, your absence eventually, is palpable.
I hear you. I am right there with you. This year has been an awful one for us especially. Hopefully you have a boss who is understanding. Who HOPEFULLY has kids themselves. That can really help lessen the anxiety. But when it’s the third time in one month, well not much helps that anxiety.
Having children is a job in itself. We all hear that being a mom is the equivalent to 57,000 full time jobs, or something. I totally agree. I am a momma who wants a career too. So having babies I feel has set me back a bit career wise. Not saying there is any regret with having babies or when I did, and for us in Canada, we are so lucky to get a whole year off to be with our babies.
But there are some things that can help calm yourself down and make it manageable.
1. Kids are DIRTY. I mean, they literally lick shit off the ground that could be anything, they don’t give a fuck. Is your toddler perfect for washing their hands? Then they touch another kid, they hug, they share nasty infected toys and daycare says they disinfect them but honestly, have you ever seen those toys? I doubt they have seen soap and water let alone any kind of disinfectant. Then, on top of that,
your kids bring home fucking norwalk virus and infect your entire house to the point where even your cat is hating his lazy life. So once you understand that this is inevitable, than you’ll start to just roll with the punches.
2. Talk to your boss. Just say ‘Hey, I know I have missed a lot of work due to illness with my kids. I just want you to know that I recognize it and truly feel awful. I am trying my best to navigate. Hoping for healthy kids soon” Throw a joke in there. And honestly, as long as your work is getting done and you work hard when you are there, your boss will understand. And acknowledging it and just having a conversation about it, will go a long way. Your boss will appreciate it.
3. Find back up care for the days that your daycare/dayhome/preschool may be closed. When I interviewed daycare’s, I asked my 2nd choice if there was room to use her as a backup, and she was fully happy. We’ve used her quite a few times now for my youngest. Maybe you have parents or in laws that are retired and can step in on those times. Something to help,and something in your control. When my eldest was in daycare, I didn’t have reliable back up and I was often home because my daycare provider was sick or had a day off.
4. And mostly, just know that this passes. I mean, I don’t personally know because I’m in the thick of it with you. But I mean, my Mom tells me all the time that this is just a stage and it passes. Everything about having kids is a fucking stage, amirite?
So don’t stress because, kids are dirty, you cannot possibly avoid this stage in their life. They are building up immunities, or so I’m told. Find a backup source for daycare that helps counter the days you need when daycare is closed, but your kid is healthy! Have an honest and real conversation with your boss. And drink. a lot.
Rinse, repeat until your kids are 12.
Joking! I mean, hopefully not. God…I hope not. 7…7 at the latest…..
I’d love to hear your personal experiences this type of work life balance. Email me at erin@theunfilteredmommy.com
Hi Erin – I talked to my employers when they interviewed me and offered me the job. I asked for some “Lee way” due to the fact I was coming to work and having a one year old in daycare for the first time. I knew the first year or so would be full of illnesses – both my toddler and myself and boy was it ever!!
I think the mentality has changed – employers understand easily. Something that I am grateful for. They know some mornings I was on “toddler time” due to breakdowns over wearing pants, socks, etc. They also knew though that I’d make up any time missed somehow – working during my lunch, working late when I could and all my work is done and caught up, if not ahead.
(I’m in Alberta, Canada 🙂)
Well I live in the US. I am a first time mom with a fiancé who works on the road. I have been at the same company for the last 5 years and never missed work. Now that I am Missing days it’s killing me. I have been off since Monday and now it’s Thursday. Daycare will not take her until she isn’t contagious. She has ear infection, a viral cold & pink eye. I feel like she has been sick for the last month. Will it end? My boss seems understanding but she doesn’t have kids so I don’t think she can relate. I have literally called her crying because my anexity of it all got the best of me. I have the option to be able to work from home and I do but it’s hard tending to a sick kid and trying to keep up with email and meetings! I feel for all moms honestly