No it's not OK to kiss my baby.... - The Unfiltered Mommy

Seriously though, the fact I have to say this = Mind blown.

Do not kiss, touch or breath on my baby.

Why do people feel the need to touch my baby? Yes, she is cute as hell, I made her but please…keep your gross, cigarette stained, germy, nail bitten (and god knows what else) hands away from/off my baby. I actually had a woman in Walmart KISS my youngest’s hands when she was in the cart. Maybe I am too nice or hate confrontation, as she was the sweetest woman but I gritted my teeth and kept smiling and nodding as she ooh’d and aw’d over my girl. I quickly excused myself, ran to the underwear department, whipped out my handy dandy sanitizer and went to town before my 6 month old could put her fingers in her mouth, because you know….that’s all 6 month olds do!

Now, when I tell other people about this I get 2 different responses. Either, they join me in the ultimate disgust and continue to rant and get angry with me or they pish posh and say I am over reacting and she was just a nice old lady. Now, I am far from a refined, uptight mother. I am pretty relaxed and even more so after my 2^nd daughter was born but this….this over steps boundaries, personal space, cleanliness and hygiene issues are raised. Has this lady never seen the stories of babies becoming deathly ill because someone with a cold sore kissed them? I mean, you exposed a little baby to herpes! I’m not even making that up. I do not want to resort to being one of those moms that needs to tape a sign to their child issuing a warning of “please look but don’t touch” but people are seriously lacking some common courtesies.

This horrific Walmart debacle reminded me of the time my eldest was a baby. I was a new mom, she was just 9 months old and we had been boating with some family and friends. We had stopped at this nice beach, accessible only by boat that is here on the Island. My husband is carrying our daughter down the dock from the boat towards the beach when he is intercepted by a very loud, very obnoxious woman. “Ohh a baby, look at how cute she is. She is just beautiful! May I hold her?!” Now, I am walking behind them and before I can really make sense of it or properly intervene, Hubby is handing over our baby! To a complete stranger, on a dock, ON WATER. Anxiety. Let me tell you the levels of anxiety I experienced in those, 2-3 minutes she held my baby. First, complete shock at hubby for handing her over (what the f____!?) and then the antsy dance, with my weight shifting to one leg to another all while smiling and fake laughing, (I have no clue what you are saying lady but give me back my baby) Then, it gets worse! She starts walking away towards her boat, still holding our daughter! She’s still chatting and my husband and family are still engaged in conversation and I keep holding out my hands for my baby. This woman’s husband is sitting outside their boat on the dock with a cigarette and a glass of wine. She shows her husband MY baby (“Isn’t she just so cute…”) and then finally goes to hand her back to hubby and then quickly kisses the top of her head. KISSES HER! I was fuming. I was annoyed.

This Mommas. Is not ok. It may have been ‘deemed’ ok back in 1983 but today, today that shit is a no fly zone.

I mean, do you see ladies running around kissing 10, 12 or 15 year old’s? No…no you do not. At least…ew…I hope not. That would be considered sexual harassment would it not? So, because a baby is innocent, defenseless, extremely chubby and cute it’s ok? Who made those rules?!

I’m a big ol’ NOPE! And Mommas, I have to grow some balls! Seriously! These are my babies. Who cares if the people of Walmart (I mean really…) witness me lose my absolute shit on a little cute old lady because she kissed my baby? Sure, I may end up all over social media, but who cares. We gotta protect our babies and care less what other people think. I didn’t want to be perceived as rude as I was very much raised to respect your elders but that doesn’t equal special treatment or exception to be socially inept, or wrong or infectious. OK, the last one was a stretch but not completely implausible.

So next time that toothless Grannie at Walmart is behind you in line and stretches out that skinny wrinkly hand to caress that baby of yours. You slap that granny hand and say “Excuse me, but no way Granny!”

Or you can just kindly smile and ‘Actually we really appreciate it if people we don’t know refrain from touching our babies” Maybe you’ll sound less like an ass. Either way. Don’t let that shit happen.