Why are we so offended all the time?

Why are we so offended, ALL the bloody time!?

Becoming a Mom and raising our tiny humans in this generation is so different from our parents or grandparents generation. I’d like to affectionately call this time the “offensive era”. Social media has blown up different perspectives on all areas. Meaning if someone is offended, then the world will know about it and band wagoners will be jumping all over it.

I am not saying there may be instances where taking offense isn’t warranted. There are extreme cases where absolutely, shit can’t fly and you should stand up for yourself and social media is the perfect platform to do so. But, here is where it pets my peeves especially.

Moms. Moms getting offended by everything.

When, if you stop and think about it. That person 100% meant no harm or offense. Women get on their Mom’s group on Facebook and vent and complain and so many of us reward that behaviour and agree. It’s ridiculous. We need to stop. Take a breather and let shit go.

Here is what I mean, and you may disagree with me, and that’s fine but I guarantee you, getting all worked up over this minuscule shit takes more energy than it does to see it from my point of view.

Here’s a few examples that really get me shaking my head.

A woman in the grocery store kindly makes conversation with you and comments on your beautiful children. But GASP, asks if you are going to have anymore? OR, you have 2 boys/girls and are you going to try until you get the opposite sex?

So, I get it. It’s none of her business.

This person is simply making conversation, pretty harmlessly and a lot of older people in our parents and 

grandparents generation think this is, no faux pas (no big deal). You can get all bent out of shape because she asked you such a personal question or you can simply smile and say “Oh, I’m not sure” laugh, and then change the subject and ask if they have any kids. I guarantee you the joy this person feels for having this connection and conversation with you is more fulfilling than the BS you will spew later on social media. WHO CARES? No one said you had to answer. And if you did answer, again, what’s the big deal. I had an extremely sweet elderly man ask me once (after ohhing and awing over my girls) if we would try for a boy. I very casually said, ‘well if you can guarantee a boy then absolutely but pretty sure that’s not legal yet (smile!)’ We chatted for a few more minutes, my girls made him laugh and he went on to tell me that he had 2 daughters of his own and how much joy they brought him. He shared some funny stories and really, it was pleasant. So I have to wonder why some moms get so bent out of shape.

Another example I see a lot is Moms complaining that they were out, obviously struggling with their little ones, perhaps not the best day and someone shoots a sympathetic smile and says

“You sure got your hands full today!”

Why take offense to this? Why be insulted. It seems to me they are sympathizing. People always seem to take this as a jab at their parenting, or they are not capable of being out with X number of children. Whereas I bet if you just fucking cooled your nads for one microsecond and said something along the lines of “oh it’s been a day” They would open up and most likely offer a story or two of raising their children and their obstacles with public outings or tantrums. It’s not like your Mom didn’t deal with you in public during a meltdown and all the sudden she was an unfit mother. And I guarantee you no one was thinking she was unfit. Likewise, no one is thinking that of you.

We process what we hear as ‘what is the most personal and negative way I can take this’

I took a course for work recently that was about crucial conversations and it actually applies more so in everyday life. I learned that humans are geared to take what they hear and process it as “what is the most personal and negative way I can take this?” and it’s true. We hear a comment or remark and immediately find the negative and personal way, the offended way to process it. Why? It instills negative feelings, takes so much energy out of us to complain and vent and passes that negativity along IE: Social media rants. When we just stop and think for a second “wait, do I REALLY think this person intentionally tried to offend me” answer is 99% of the time, no. Of course not. So why let it bother you?

This last area of offense is the one that really frustrates me the most. It’s this whole walking on broken glass mentality that really shows we are catering to this ridiculousness. Case in point: Schools are banning costumes on Halloween, instead encouraging Black and Orange day. What the actual Eff?

Some I’ve read have even stopped the valentines day cards handouts. Shut the front door!

Whatever Floats Your Boat is cool. 

Christmas? Don’t even get me started. Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah. Whatever floats your 

boat is cool with me. And it should be cool with you, with everyone.

Someone says Happy Hanukkah, I think “how nice” and they are wishing me well. I don’t celebrate Hanukkah. But big whoop. Seriously. We can’t say Merry Christmas anymore? We have to have a blanket neutral for everything?

While doing so, we have introduced a completely confusing hypocritical statement where we try not to offend and welcome all cultures. Yet, we can’t show our admiration and curiosity about other cultures by dressing up at Halloween?  We can’t accept other cultures holiday greetings because it offends us? How accepting is that?

We are pulling holidays, memories and fun from schools because of this shit the kids don’t know any better! You think a little girl dressed up as Pocahontas thinks she is offending anyone, if anything she LOVES pocahontas and instead of bitching that it’s not the true representation of the indigenous people (we are all aware) know that there is no INTENTION of ill will or offense. Ya Walt Disney needed to take a lesson or two, but it’s a movie. A story.

Stop being offended & stop teaching our kids to be offended.

Let’s not raise our kids this way. I’m begging our society to stop being offended. And do what you say and say what you do. Be open. Accept all cultures, and don’t put limits on it. We are sending the wrong message when we vent about a sweet lady asking an innocent question. Or penalizing our children and fun for the sake of possibly offending someone.

Let’s stop this nonsense. There are reasons and ways to be offended. But these are not them. It’s gone to far. I know I am not alone when I say we all had memorable childhoods. Where we dressed up for Halloween. Where we got excited for Valentines day cards. Easter Egg hunts, the list goes on!

Let’s keep the magic alive, for the kids.

Whose with me?!

 

 

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