I recently started working for a new company. New boss new role, new people and more importantly, new atmosphere, which is amazing by the way. I forgot what it was like to work in such a nurturing, friendly and cohesive workplace. My boss trusts me, he puts in a genuine interest in my well being, in all the staff. He trusts us. He is kind. But when you have experienced a toxic boss or manager before, your walls are up, afraid for something new, waiting for the other shoe to drop if it’s too good to be true. You expect all work environments to be riddled with anxiety, the stomach twisting fear of even getting out of bed to go to work.
I have taken the leap previously with a new company and a new boss. Shit doesn’t go as planned. You bump heads, he’s a bully or disrespectful, maybe both! And talks down to his staff. He seems to enjoy embarrassing his managers in front of his staff. Micro manages, gives no freedom….anyways, you know the kind of boss I am talking about. Thrives and hungry on the power trip and will do anything to feed that need.
How to quit
You start running through your head on how you could quit.
- “X amount of dollars in savings, after daycare, rent, groceries…perfect, I’ll be able to get by for all of 4 days” Scratch that idea.
- You have daydreams of making a huge scene, defending yourself and your employees and making a memorable exit, think Jerry Maguire, followed by applause. But that’s too risky and no one does that in real life anyway. Do they? (I’d love to hear your Jerry Maguire moment if you have one)
- And then finally, what if you tried to get fired? Then you could go on IE, but then you have no reference and looking for a job people will ask why you left. “Well I left because my boss is a raging narcissist who gives me anxiety to the point I feel sick to even go” Awesome, they will definitely call you back for a second interview.
But, if I can be serious for a moment, it may seem silly but there are extreme negative health effects directly from a toxic boss. It’s not just a “work sucks” mentality, it’s mental health and well being, all at risk.
The effects of a toxic boss or manager:
- Your risk for heart disease and heart attack rises with having a toxic boss.
- Stress and Anxiety have huge negative impacts on your health
- Clinical depression
- It can lead you to learn bullying behaviour yourself.
- Sleep deprivation
- Reoccuring health issues
- High blood pressure
- Weight loss or gain
That’s just the tip of the iceberg!
When should you leave?
OK, so when should you leave a toxic workplace? Is it ok, healthy even to ride it out to see if it changes? No. I truly don’t think so.
- When there is no room for conversation to fix it; if that’s the case, there is no respect for you there. Nothing will change, recognize it as soon as possible
- When you are sick to your stomach about going. You’ve used more sick days over anxiety than actual sickness, which in turn, gives you more anxiety about using sick days and so the cycle continues
- You show up to work like you rolled out of bed. You don’t care anymore. There is no drive
- When your boss has made you angry to the point of tears, on multiple occasions (that’s not normal or healthy btw)
- When he gives you a project, then completely undermines you on getting it done and then controls you on how to do it. No freedom or trust to do the job you were hired for. Exit light! Now.
- Does he embarrass you in front of your colleagues? Run. Speak to you in a condescending tone? Sprint.
You get my point.
Ok, so we’ve established that your current situation is unhealthy. Now let’s discuss what to do about it.
Plan your escape
There are a few ways you can exit this situation.
-
- Plan your exit. If the situation is shitty but you can manage it awhile longer while you figure out another job, then do that. Revamp your resume
- Change your LinkedIn profile to “actively seeking employment”
- Subscribe to job boards for your profession
- Talk to your boss about a severance. Be straight up, You are not happy, he is clearly not fond of you, so meet in the middle.
- Seek the help of an employment agency. They will take your resume, and skillset and help to place you in a new job.
Don’t wait it out, is all I can say. We are learning more and more about the effects of mental health in general. What high levels of cortisol can do on the body and mind, the direct effects from stress and anxiety to health, well being, state of mind and mental state…it’s just not worth it anymore.
Psychology Today has this great article on all the effects a toxic boss can have on you and your health. It’s a great read and you may have some very real “ah ha” moments.
Bored and still want to read? I have lots to say:
Grab a snack and read up on my Series, The Accidental Surrogate. Part 1 starts here.
Leave a Reply